very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he wants to bone in the snuggie
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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