you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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