FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
jump out the window naked night went bad
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
