we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
