So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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