No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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