well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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