im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
