Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
