wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
