I cockslap morals
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
