I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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