You're earring is so big in my mouth
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
