and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
