Nicole vs. Life
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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