i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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