I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
