Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
