Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
