I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
