Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize