You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This is my gift to your gina
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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