is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
