I think my fart just growled at me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
