Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
