your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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