Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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