So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
