okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I could fuck to npr.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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