how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
