I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
