Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
