there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Your penis caused this!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
