it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
don't judge my taste in strippers
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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