i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
