What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
