i don't like sucking hair
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
