That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
