Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
