Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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