All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
