She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize