so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
