As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
