your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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