I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My penis needs a shock collar
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
