but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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