Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Also, beer. Big fan.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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