Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
