Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
