if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
