Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
