Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
