Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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