i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize