possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
