Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
