and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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