I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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