He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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