plz talk dirty to me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
